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You never know who is suffering

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Tragic news this week with the passing of Robin Williams. I still cannot wrap my mind around it. He was so extremely talented, was able to put a smile on everyone’s face and a laugh in our hearts. He will be missed by so many for years to come, and for those who will never know of him, my heart breaks. As talented as he was and as many TV shows, movies, and special appearances as he was in, there was so much more to this man that any of us will ever know.  

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Not just a spouse

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We lose a lot when divorce happens. We lose our family as we knew it; we lose things; we lose life as we thought it would be. So many things are different than they were, and than we thought they would be. One of the biggest things people tend not to think about is we lose our friend, many times our best friend.

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Anniversary date

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Just another date on a calendar? After a divorce, what do you do with the date of what was?  I had a very hard time with this at first. I have kind of forgotten about it now (I said kind of!)  I read another blogger’s blog on the subject, which of course brought the thoughts back to me and my situation.  

 

I was married for 24 years, so the date meant something for 24 years. It is the date we were married, we pledged our love, we made promises to each other and our families. Now what?

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Setting an Example

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Setting an example.  

It sounds easy enough -  not! A friend who has been through a rough divorce and is really struggling in her new life recently made a comment to me that hit a reality nail on the head. She was sharing with me how tough things are;  she has no car, lives in an apartment, can’t afford to do much with or for her 3 girls, a far cry from the life she had while married. Her ex is newly engaged, just bought a nice house with his fiancee, goes on numerous vacations, both with and without the kids...great life, right?

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Resources

Links

Divorce Care

Books

  1. Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore
  2. How to Let God Help You Through Hard Times
  3. My Ex is Driving Me Crazy  by Aleta Koman
  4. Surviving Separation and Divorce by Loriann Hoff Oberlin
  5. Love Must Be Tough by Dr James Dobson
  6. Eat Pray Love  by Elizabeth Gilbert
  7. How Can I Forgive You by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD

Songs

  1. Forgiveness by Matthew West
  2. Overcomer by Mandisa
  3. Hello my name is  by Matthew West 
  4. Whatever You're Doing  by Sanctus Real
SITSgirls

Disclaimer

There are two sides to every story…during my divorce there were two sides: his side, and the right side!

And now seven years later, there is just my side. Please remember what I write is my own personal experience, my feelings, my emotions. I talk about what I went through, how I dealt with it, and what I thought. I have no degree in psychology or psychiatry; I am not a counselor or an attorney.

If you ask five people what they have just read, you will get five different answers. Whether we are an active participant or a bystander, no two views are the same.

Therefore, if you meet my ex, his view will be totally different than what I write. He, like the rest of us, changed over time. Good or bad, depends on who you ask. I pray that my life changes are not only good for me, but for those I love.