Wanting Ears Vs. Open Ears
Seeing others struggle and not being able to “fix” it is definitely a curse on me. It is bad enough when it is my own kids, and I figure it is all part of being a parent, a good parent. But I am also cursed with this affliction when it comes to friends, and in some instances, even acquaintances.
As with pretty much everything in life, things are much clearer when we are on the outside looking in and not living it out. I am sure that if I could have had an out-of-body experience and watched my life during my divorce, things would have gone differently. I would have known what to say, what not to say. I would have been bettered prepared all those times in court, I would have known exactly the right things to say to my kids as they hurt.
Well, that is not the case, and perhaps even if it was, it may not have changed the outcome.
So when we see friends hurting or struggling, should we try to make it stop? Or are those experiences meant to make us who we need to be?Write comment (0 Comments)
Why, God, Why?
I was fortunate today to have an extra day off. It is a beautiful spring day. I can hear the birds chirping, the sun is shining, and it is a clear blue sky. I decided I would take a drive into the city, which is something I don’t do very often, but I had a few errands that required me to do that today. I was mindful to not get on my cell phone and talk to anyone to pass my time, but decided to listen to Christian radio and talk to God. I wish I could say that it was uninterrupted and that there were no distractions, but my mind has this little squirrel running around in it that usually has my thoughts bouncing all over the place. I know I did a whole lot of talking, even sang along with the radio, more talking, and some thought-wandering. Sadly, there wasn’t much listening going on.Write comment (0 Comments)
Giving Up Can Be a Good Thing
Did your mom ever tell you “ there is a time and place for everything” ? Mine did, and I am pretty sure it was when we were misbehaving LOL.
We are taught to never give up. We must continue to try to succeed. Never give up, never quit. I am sure we have all heard these phrases at least once in our lifetime. Perhaps we are even the ones saying them.
When we are hit with a divorce, especially blindsided by one, our animal instinct and survival mode kick in. When we are hurt so deeply, we want to lash out, we want to hurt the person that hurt us. We want to WIN, or more importantly we don’t want to lose.
Hindsight is 20/20 and if we could fast forward to look back , we would save ourselves much grief and disappointment. Many times in a divorce no one wins, everyone loses especially where kids are concerned. Even if you have an amicable divorce, you have all lost the nuclear family setting, the kids have lost having both parents 100% of the time. Things are different, things change.Write comment (0 Comments)
It Felt Like I Was Choosing One Over the Other
Choosing between our children is not something anyone wants to do or likes to do, and most never do. This week I am feeling like that is exactly what I have done.
You see, my ex left 8 and ½ years ago, and since that day I have chosen not to leave my children on my parenting days. In my mind, I only get them 50% of the time, not my choice, not their choice; if I cannot do “my” things on the 50% of time I don’t have them, then there is something seriously wrong with me. I include my children in whatever I do when they are with me. I have turned down many invites that did not include children, or rescheduled to a time when I was without the kids.
But this week I found myself feeling like I had done just that, chosen one child over another. Although I made the “choice” months ago, it took place this week, and I didn’t really handle it very well.Write comment (0 Comments)