Transition Day Love it or Hate it?
If you share custody of children, you know what transition day is. Do you dread it or look forward to it?
I still, to this day, almost 7 years later look forward to this day. Whether it has been two days or five days or more, I am so excited to see my children again. Even now I have not adjusted to having a life that does not include my children. Even when they are with their father, they are still in the forefront of everything I do and think. I’m not sure that will ever change.
But there have been times that even though I couldn’t wait to have my children back with me, I so very much dreaded that first day. You see, our children come home with stories, and complaints, and worries, and dread, and fears, and comments...Write comment (0 Comments)
Forgiveness. Forgiveness? I have always thought forgiveness was saying to the person who did wrong that it’s ok, that I am over it and I have moved on. Well, I could not possibly forgive this man who turned my life upside down, this man who cheated, who said extremely mean and hurtful things, who treated me so horribly, who treated our children as poorly if not worse. Time and time again I had been told I must forgive him. How do you forgive a person who doesn't care what he has done, and maybe even more importantly, still continues in his hurtful ways? It is much easier to forgive someone who expresses remorse, someone who is sorry for what they have done, or at least for the pain they have caused. Over and over again I searched in books and sermons for that magical key to forgiving someone like this. I read. I talked. I asked questions. The answer seemed to be constant: "forgiveness is for me, not the person that did me wrong.”Write comment (4 Comments)
Sleep is overrated!
Sleep is Overrated!
“On the seventh day God rested,” but for some reason, we don’t think we need rest. Or so I thought, and still think at times. The only difference now is that I know how necessary sleep is, not only for our health, but also for our mental well-being and our coping abilities. In the immediate days, weeks and even months after my husband left, I hardly slept at all. I couldn’t. My mind would not shut off. Of course, the usual demons, what did I do wrong, what could I have done differently, what is wrong with me, how will I survive, do I want to survive, all haunted me day and night. But trying to close my eyes and sleep just gave those demons free reign in my mind. So I stayed awake, trying to function. I took care of the kids; I cried; I cleaned the house; I cried; I ran the absolutely necessary errands; I cried; I went to see my counselor; I cried.Write comment (0 Comments)
Who should have control?
Allowing our children control because we feel guilty, because we are tired of fighting, because we think it will make them like us. These are all things we find ourselves doing or thinking of doing, especially in the midst of or following a divorce. None of us would choose to put our children through what they go through during a divorce and custody battle. Even if you are the one that wants out of the marriage, you wish there was a way without involving the kids. No matter how civilized and friendly and cooperative your situation is or becomes, things for the kids change just like they do for us. Best case scenario, both parents love the kids and want the best for them. But even then, the kids still live with only one parent (or one parent at a time if they split their time between mom and dad). We work hard to compromise and get a schedule that works for everyone, that we feel is best. Sometimes we cant decide or agree, and parenting coordinators and judges decide. No matter how it happens, it gets written in our divorce decrees and we are ordered to abide by it.Write comment (0 Comments)