As Mother’s Day approaches, I have lots of mixed feelings. Being divorced seems to make so many things difficult and yes, that includes Mother’s Day. It is in my decree that I have the children on Mother’s Day just as it is in there that my ex has them on Father’s Day. But it is still difficult, especially when the kids are too young to drive themselves. When they are little, they tend to get to make gifts in school for moms. Most of the time I actually received the gift. So cute and so loving coming from our babies. However, at a certain point they no longer spend school time making gifts. At this point in my previous life, I would get nothing or a handmade card. My ex stated I was not his mother, so why should he take them shopping? Of course, when it came to Father’s Day he was always showered with gifts and cards from me as well as our children.
So now in my newly single life, my children feel badly because as before, their father will not take them shopping for me, and they don’t want me to take them. Well duh, the gift is for me! I have tried everything. Giving them cash and waiting outside the store. Speaking with the cashier so they can bag their gifts and I can use my debit card. Asking a friend to take them. It is just not what the kids want. Once one of them was old enough to drive, it was a little easier.
Then we deal with the special Mom’s Day at school. Our school does Muffins for Moms on the Friday morning before Mother’s Day. Of course my children are with their dad until he drops them off at school on Fridays. Do you think he would drop them off early or allow me to drive them to school so we could participate? No way. He actually made our daughter go with his new wife one year. She was devastated. All of her friends wanted to know where her mom was. Now after several years, it probably wouldn’t be as hard on our daughter, but that first year nearly crushed her. So much so, in fact, that she hides, tries to hide the fact that the event is happening.
I just love being surrounded by my children on Mother’s Day. I don’t need gifts; we don’t need to go anywhere. I just love spending time with them. It makes me feel special just to have them take time from their busy schedules and individual lives to spend some quality time with me.
Which brings me to the rest of the emotional turmoil that accompanies Mother’s Day for me. I lost my mom in 2007, 6 months before my husband left. I don’t think losing your mom is ever easy, but it is not any easier the older you are.
So as the world gathers around their moms and celebrates this special day, I reminisce in the memories of my mom.
So make the most of this Mother’s Day however you can. Make memories to last a lifetime for you and your children. Teach them to make memories with their children so it continues for generations to come, even when we are not here to lead it.