As a whole, things are better when communication goes through the new wife and not my ex. But I often wonder: does she even know the details, the guidelines, the rules?
I can often tell even in her emails when it is my ex telling her what to say to me. It reads totally different than her normal emails.
So is she naive and unknowing, or has she taken on his narcissistic tendencies and his controlling personality?
What I am referring to is a seemingly simple statement she makes to me. When my daughter is supposed to be with them, and they have yet again planned to be out of town or gone overnight, I get an email stating that fact. No problem. What bothers me is she then tells me she has already made plans for her mom or a sitter or a nanny to be with her daughter and mine, oh, “unless you want her.”
Unless I want her? Really? First off, that is totally a no brainer – of course I want her! But more than that is the fact that she cannot leave my daughter overnight or even over a certain number of hours without FIRST giving me first right of refusal. It is right there in black and white, signed, sealed and delivered by the courts. Yes, it is stated in our divorce decree.
So again, is she not privy to that? She has made reference at other times to referring to the documents on who my daughter will be with on a holiday or who gets first pick for summer vacation weeks. So are those pages my ex printed out and gave to her and that is all she sees?
Or does she have access to it all and not care to read it?
Or has she taken on her husband’s personality and feels she can TELL me how it is going to be?
Maybe I am a little too sensitive in this area, as I still without a doubt feel they leave our daughter way too much. Better parent? Or just different parenting styles?
No, I do not correct her. I fume and boil and get angry in the privacy of my own life and I kindly answer her email with a “yes, we would love to have her.”
Maybe it seems like no big deal, and in the grand scheme of things it really is no big deal. Guess I just needed to vent today!