Sometimes it takes a lifetime to learn a lesson, other times it is instant. But when we experience a truly “AH HA” moment, wow, what a feeling!
Here is a little story about a woman who one day found herself at 45 years old trying to figure out what her life was all about. She had been someone’s daughter, and then a wife at 18 years old; shortly after, she became a mother. Never knowing who she was or what she wanted, she woke up every day doing the best she could by her children and her husband despite what was going on around her. She did all she could to survive. Then the day came when her children were grown and had their own families, and her husband had his own activities, and decided that she was no longer needed or wanted.
She found herself wounded, resentful, angry, and bitter, full of unforgiveness that would soon begin to eat away at her soul. She wanted desperately to be better and do better. However, every day, no matter how hard she tried, all that she could see was the negative going on around her. She could recognize blessings, even acknowledge them out loud, but just never seemed to be able to stay in that place of peace.
She had people tell her that she was weak, desperate, overly emotional, and needy. Not because they wanted to help her, but because they themselves were hurting. You know the saying: hurting people hurt people. This left her feeling hopeless, and full of despair.
Then one day, shortly after her 50th birthday, she began to have an awakening! She began to see that only she could control what she allowed in. That it wasn’t acceptable any longer to continue to cry victim when she had the power and authority to change her circumstances. Little by little, she began to remove herself from those who were hateful, manipulative, controlling, and overall negative from her life. Realizing that by doing so it didn’t make her hateful, it made her confident. That those people who counted her out really had a hand in helping her up.
She became stronger every day, able to stand up for herself with boldness, no longer willing to accept weak as a way to describe her. She realized that the only dependence and “neediness” she had was on GOD. For without HIM, she wouldn’t have made it as far as she had. And as far as being overly emotional, well, she was created to have emotions, and has learned how to keep them in check and not have them rule her.
Her biggest win came the day she was able to sit in a room with the man she was once married to, and look at him and feel absolutely nothing for him. She had no longer had anger, resentment, bitterness, or rage. She was able to sit and look at him and forgive what had happened in the past, because she realized that she had so much more than what he took away.
It was on this day that she realized that GOD is so much bigger that she can ever understand. That while she spent 5 years wondering why GOD why?; HE was doing a greater work in her that would bring joy and peace that surpasses anything she can understand. It is on this day that I experienced true freedom!