A sign of times to come or still just wishful thinking….

A sign of times to come or still just wishful thinking…

I have been divorced now over 6 years, and my ex left almost 8 years ago. During all this time there has been maybe ONE, yes one, time that he has spoken to me where there was no name calling, no nasty remarks, and well, just the fact that he SPOKE to me. That is, until a week ago.

Without going into details, I can just say it is business-related. I still have ties to my ex that are business related.

There have been instances over the past 8 years when I had to interact with my ex where business was concerned, and it has been hateful and miserable. So this time it surprised the heck out of me. I had an in-depth phone conversation that was almost pleasant. That was followed by several days of text messages, still regarding business, but pleasant, so much so that I questioned several times if it was really him on the other end.

Once the business concluded, there was brief interaction via text and it was over.  

However, there was something I needed to ask in regards to our parenting schedule and a change in my itinerary for my fall break trip with our daughter. Both had been met with nasty comments and derogatory remarks in the past.  This time, I either received no reply (which is fine by me) or an agreeable answer.  Instead of pointing out that I was an idiot because I forgot to put the date of our vacation, he simply responded to my email with a brief, “what date is this?”

I know, I know, until you walk in my shoes and live in my life, you won’t understand just how huge this is. But believe me when I say, you could have knocked me over with a feather.  

I did not test the waters or push the boundaries; I simply sat back in bewilderment. I didn’t think he had it left in him to actually be nice to me. Or maybe he wasn’t truly nice to me and it was me wanting it so badly that I created the feeling? Either way, I wonder what the future holds. Going forward, will there be more opportunities for pleasantries? Or was this a fluke, and we are back to the way it has been all these years?

Have you experienced any surprises in the way your interactions with your ex have progressed as time passes? How did you react?

Photo Credit: Madeline Linahan