Why is Communication so difficult?


Why is communication so difficult? Why does it have to be such an ordeal? Comment made, question asked, now where is the answer? Why is it when I email my ex about a situation with our daughter that I do not get an answer?  Why is it that I have to ask more than once to even get a response, and even then it is not usually the answer?


You would think that 7 years later, communication would be easier. I guess it is easier if easier means I don’t get called names and responses are less nasty and sometimes even just to the point. But why can’t communication be easy and open when it is about our children?



I took my daughter to the dentist for her biannual check up, as I have to take her or she doesn’t go. I have to take her, but I am not allowed to agree to treatment or pay for anything until I get the blessing from her father. Can you believe our parenting coordinator went along with that! I have to take our children for all routine care: eye doctor, medical doctor, dentist, etc. I have to pay up front and then fight in court for reimbursement of the court-ordered percentage my ex is responsible for. Yes, you read that correctly ,and the parenting coordinator saw nothing wrong with it.


Back to the story. Six months ago, I took our daughter to the dentist. Everything was good, in fact, great; no cavities, so she had her teeth cleaned and new sealant put on. At this appointment, the dentist also discussed with me the need for braces, the treatment plan and the costs. I copied all info and gave it to my ex. No response at all. Well since I am not “allowed” to move forward without his blessing, I am stuck. Luckily, the dentist said it wasn’t urgent and didn’t need to be started immediately.  


Fast forward to the here and now. I send my ex and his wife an email to let them know it is time for our daughter’s check up once again, and remind them the dentist will probably ask me about starting her braces. On the day of the appointment, I remind them once again we are going today and do they have an answer for the braces.


I finally got an answer – they agree to the braces and the cost we were quoted 6 months ago and I am to find out how they can pay their percentage separately. Whatever, I will do all the work. So we go to the dentist, once again no cavities, replace some sealants, and when can they start the braces. Now that all her baby teeth have come out, they would like to get started.  


Once again, I ask for the treatment plan and costs and once again I copy it all and send it to my ex and his wife this time. No comment. So I send another request, this time also asking about the full x-rays that have to be taken first at a different office, if perhaps they can take our daughter to that appointment so that she is not always missing school on the same days since I take her to everything.


Two weeks later, and still no response whatsoever.  I am calling to make the appointment on a day our daughter is with me. And I will have to figure out how to deduct the cost of the x-rays from the rest of the treatment plan so I don’t have to fight in court for reimbursement.


Why does communication have to be so difficult?  When will we get to a point when questions asked and answered are civil and quick?


I have to admit that when they email me, I have to consciously make myself answer. My first instinct is to let it go without response. But then that makes me no better than they are, and I do not want to stoop to that level.