Learning to trust again…


Now that you have gone through or are going through a divorce, how do you trust anyone ever again? The person you were the closest to totally broke your trust. Won’t everyone else follow suit?


I know I wondered about everyone, even my own family. I mean, if my husband could lie to me and break my heart, couldn’t anyone?


I found myself punishing nearly everyone for what my husband had done. I didn’t want anyone to be able to hurt me like that. I even had trouble trusting my children.


Trust is an amazingly powerful thing. And breaking a trust is devastating and life-altering.  Most don’t realize that once you break a trust, you can’t just have it back. It must be earned, and earning it back often times seems impossible, and to the party trying to give the trust back to you, it most times feels impossible.


In a recent poll I asked, what is trust to you? Here are some responses:


Webster defines trust like this: : belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.



To me, trust is faith in someone. Faith (or trust) that they will not betray you, whether in word or deed.



A loyalty that is felt between two people who can depend on each other.



Trust is the most valuable thing you’ll ever earn.



It is sacred.


I wanted to send some ideas on Trust – that is a really huge issue for me, Trust is so easy to lose and so very hard to regain.  
In my former relationship there was a tremendous breach of trust and it took me literally years to feel like I could trust someone again.  I am so grateful that I met Peter, but he will be the first to tell you that it took a lot to get me to trust him.  
I really think trust is the essential foundation of any relationship, not just romantic ones.  Having trust in friends, or family is just as important.
Nothing is more important than trust.  I know that I can trust Peter, not just that he won’t cheat on me, but that he will be open and honest with me and he will share what’s going on, and he will always respect my privacy, that he won’t ever do anything to intentionally hurt me.



Knowing that person will be there day in and day out, no matter how difficult it gets in life.



Trust helps defeat insecure feelings as they creep upon you unexpectedly from prior hurts


No matter the answer, one common thread is how serious trust is, not to be taken or given lightly.  So once you have experienced broken trust, how do you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and let your guard down and let others in again?