Praying for my ex

I was told, and even heard in sermons, that we should pray for our enemies. There is even a song about it: “Pray for You” by Jaron and the Long Road to Love. Need a laugh, be sure and listen to the song! And I will admit some of those lyrics are definitely thoughts that have crossed my mind a time or two.


How can we bring ourselves to pray for someone who has hurt us so deeply? Does that person really deserve our prayers?


At the onset of my separation, I prayed for myself, my children and even my ex.  But my prayers were filled with wanting my marriage restored, of my husband coming back, etc.  

Heading into the divorce with all its nastiness, my prayers changed. Thank goodness for God’s grace, as I prayed for karma for my ex, for all his nastiness to turn onto him, for bad things to happen etc. I knew those were not good, or correct prayers. I knew that God does not work that way.  But my pain was so overwhelming that I couldn’t help myself.


Later, my prayers for my ex turned to be more about our children. For him to do what was right for them, for him to stop punishing them when he was angry at me, or for him to stop being so hateful, hurtful, and mean.  


I did not have any desire to pray good things for him.

Much time has passed, and I still find it hard to pray for good things for him.  We are supposed to pray all that we wish for ourselves, for our ex. Yeah, well, that is just a little too much for me, even now. However, I do pray that he will be a good dad, that he will make time to spend with our children, that he will bring our daughter to church when she asks, and that he will find his way back to God. I often ask our bible study group to pray over a situation involving my ex, so that is sort of praying for him. I still cannot bring myself to pray for him to be successful or happy in life, but maybe I should. Perhaps he needs prayer more than I do.