It took me a long time to ask myself that, and even longer to figure out or admit that I was not the responsible party.
When my husband first left, he didn’t see the kids for a couple of weeks. Part of that was due to my not letting him. To explain myself a little, not that it was right, but I look back and I would do the same again. The kids were so confused, and in my mind, they needed some time to digest that he left and wasn’t coming back in the position of husband and dad like they knew him. They needed to realize he wasn’t out of town on business, or on another guys trip. Many of you will be angry and judge me and definitely disagree with me, and that is ok.
But part of it was due to the lifestyle he was leading and decisions he was making: lots of other women, partying, and spending our joint monies. For this reason, it is a decision I made and I still stand behind.
When he did come see the kids, he would make arrangements to take them, giving me a time he would bring them back. However, he was always bringing them back early. Once he picked them up stating he was taking them for ice cream and gave me a time of an hour and a half later they would be back. As they walked away from the door, I went through the house, into the garage and got in my car and all but followed them out the driveway. I drove to a friend’s house for some much-needed girlfriend time, about 3 miles from my house. I had been in her house no more than 15 minutes when my 14 year-old son called asking where I was. When I inquired why he wanted to know, he informed me he and his 5 year-old sister were back at my house. He said his dad dropped them off and left. So I left my friend and went home. I did inquire to my ex- to- be why he dropped them off much earlier than planned. His response was something to the effect of he didn’t know what to do with them.