It happens all the time, in all relationships. We need to learn to listen. Not simply hearing, but really listening to what the other person is trying to say. We all have the fault of hearing what we want to hear, or what we think that person is saying. We think we know how the other person feels. We imagine the conversation before it even takes place. We have preconceived notions as to how it will go and what will be said. When we do this, we don’t allow ourselves to hear what the other person is truly saying. Try not speaking, not arguing but really listening while the other person speaks. Sometimes we can be surprised by receiving not what we thought we would, but what we really wanted all along.
We are guilty of blaming others for how we think they feel, or what we think they meant in their words or actions. Next time, take an extra moment to ask questions for confirmation before jumping to the worst conclusion. While we may make a statement about one individual or situation, that may not hold true when it pertains to you and this conversation. Just because we use a word in the context of a conversation, you cannot remove that word from said conversation and say it means that very same thing when used with other conversations or people. Remember, we are all human, and we all make mistakes. But I believe if we stop and listen, there will be less conflict and less hurt feelings.
The next time you are in an argument, stop talking and let the other person speak without interruption. Then, hear what they are saying, not what you think they are or should say. If you still don’t hear them, ask. And by all means, ask for the same consideration for yourself, time to speak uninterrupted, to explain what you are saying.
Donna D21 Originally Published 6/14