Apologies to Friends and Family

Unless you have walked in my shoes (or at least on my path), you will never understand. I did not choose to have my children with me only 50% of the time. That is not a choice I would ever make for myself or my children, but divorce made that choice for me, and therefore, I make other choices based on that one.

When my children are with me, I choose to spend that time with them. I plan my personal appointments and fun non-children things during the times they are with their dad.  When I am invited to an adult-only activity, I check my parenting schedule before accepting.

Often times I have made plans or accepted invitations only to have to decline with apologies due to a change in my parenting time. And more often than not, the response I get from others is “get a sitter,” or “it’s not your weekend.” Yes, they could be correct in that it was not originally my time, but for some unforeseen reason it is now (and by no fault of my children, so why should they be punished?)

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my ex actually stated on record that just because it is his parenting time, it doesn’t mean he has to spend all of his time with our children.  I believe he takes that to extremes and doesn’t spend any time with our children; however, others may say I am the opposite.

I choose to spend all the time I can with my children. I nor they chose this situation, and they will not always be this age or willing to spend time with their mom!

A perfect example is this week. I had plans to go away Wednesday to Sunday. I got notified 2 days ago that my ex is going out of town during his parenting time. Since I have first right of refusal, he has to tell me so I can take our children if I want to, on weekends that aren’t mine. Of course I chose to have them stay with me. So I notified my travel companions that I would now be joining them on Friday when I get the kids.

Or so I thought. After talking with my daughter, we discovered that she had been invited to not 1, not 2, but 3 birthday parties this weekend.  So, I have now told my travel companions that I will not be joining them at all.

As expected, the responses were as mentioned above, as if I did it on purpose because I didn’t want to go. Although I would have loved to go, I am happy with my decision. And others will never understand, and I pray they never will.


Donna D16  Originally published 5/14