I had a revelation of sorts.
As I was driving to work this morning, I was again beating myself up for being so negative and nasty towards society, well people in society, certain people how they behave or what they wear. And even more that “we” are accepting of it. What I am speaking of is women, girls who reveal too much, whether it be in their clothing or behavior. I have been very negative for a long time about it, but it seems to be getting worse and worse. As I became angry with myself again this morning for having such thoughts, I heard something that stopped me in my tracks: all this time being negative ,I have blamed me; maybe I am jealous? Maybe because I have put on weight since my divorce, maybe because I am fat, I am just jealous of them. Perhaps because my ex compared me to those types I am jealous. Maybe because my ex desired them and said mean things to me I am jealous. Maybe because I haven’t been able to erase those things from my mind or heart I am jealous…
Then on my way to work this morning I was listening to a radio station found by my 11 year old daughter and left on in my truck, family life radio KFLR. They were talking about a tweet made by Natalie Grant in regards to the recent Grammys. “We left the Grammy’s early. I’ve many thoughts, most of which are probably better left inside my head. But I’ll say this: I’ve never been more honored to sing about Jesus and for Jesus. And I’ve never been more sure of the path I’ve chosen.”
Could my negativity be my sign that I am on the right path? Could God be directing my thoughts?
Photo Credit: Cody Wiley Photography
D8 originally published 5-9-14