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With Every Step

Thoughts like mine

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As you have read in some of my posts, my daughter is a primary focus in my life.  Helping her to grow, mature, succeed and survive her split family life in a healthy way sometimes is a very exhausting and stressful chore.  I as many other parents struggle with thoughts of ruining my daughters life, of scarring her for life, and so on and so forth.  I am no different than many other parents in that respect.  Also as you have read on many other occasions, my daughter is a competitive figure skater.  A choice she made and continues to make, but I often wonder if I am doing the right thing by her.  I wonder if I am doing the right thing when I am fully supporting her dream and she is at the rink every waking moment, I wonder if I am doing the right thing when I limit her ice time to make time for friends or more importantly school.  As a parent of a child driven by a dream or goal, you can probably relate.  It doesn't matter if it is a sport or something else, when it occupies most of the child's waking life we often wonder if they are missing out on other things in life.  I strive to create and keep a well balanced life for and with my daughter. 

Just recently I read an article that touched my heart from a parent with very similar feelings as my own.  Please take a moment to read and you will be glad you did.

by Catherine Collins of Ultimate Edges of Excellence

as printed in ICESKATINGWORLD.COM May 27, 2015

It all starts by taking your 3 year old to the rink for “learn to skate” lessons as something to fill an hour of their week and give them an outlet for their energy. They come home from class and continue to skate around the house, wearing their helmet, gloves and maybe a super-hero or princess costume from the dress up box, constantly asking every day there after “ Do I go to skating today?”

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Watch out #Reba , Here I come!!

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I know it seems so silly to be so stoked to go see someone you don’t know.  I have tickets to see Reba in concert on June 26th.  Do I know her? No.  Does she know me? No.  She doesn’t even know I exist!  However, that does not make me any less excited to go see her.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I have been to other concerts. I have gotten excited about other performers. But this one is different.

 

Even though we have not met and probably never will, even though she sings songs about many things, and even though she was simply playing a character on a TV sitcom… there is a strange connection.

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In Desperate Need

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I am in the process of going through boxes and closets at my house in search of things I can donate, a last minute plea from a friend. I’m aiming to donate to a woman who is having a garage sale this weekend. She is holding a garage sale to try to make a little money.  She needs a little money to put food on the table for her family.  Some of us have even been there.  We have had family struggles, we hear about family struggles. Most struggles are due to severe illness, a job loss, the loss of a spouse, etc. This particular plea for help really chaps my hide.

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Are Her Feet on the Ground?

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Keeping her feet on the ground while her head is in the clouds. We have heard it said; we have been told to do it; we may have even said it about ourselves or others.

 

I am referring to another struggle I have with my daughter and sharing custody.  If I didn’t share custody, I don’t think this would be an issue.

 

There is definitely a difference in financial status between me and my ex, but even more so, there is a definite difference in how we live our lives and view others, or more so how we think or want others to view us.

 

Other than my personal appearance and my struggle with weight, the only area I seem to really care what other people think of me.  I shouldn’t, but it was ingrained into my head for so long, it is proving hard to break. But that is another story. In this story, we are dealing with status, or lack, or image, or financial standing, or, umm, I don’t even know what to call it.

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Resources

Links

Divorce Care

Books

  1. Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore
  2. How to Let God Help You Through Hard Times
  3. My Ex is Driving Me Crazy  by Aleta Koman
  4. Surviving Separation and Divorce by Loriann Hoff Oberlin
  5. Love Must Be Tough by Dr James Dobson
  6. Eat Pray Love  by Elizabeth Gilbert
  7. How Can I Forgive You by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD

Songs

  1. Forgiveness by Matthew West
  2. Overcomer by Mandisa
  3. Hello my name is  by Matthew West 
  4. Whatever You're Doing  by Sanctus Real
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Disclaimer

There are two sides to every story…during my divorce there were two sides: his side, and the right side!

And now seven years later, there is just my side. Please remember what I write is my own personal experience, my feelings, my emotions. I talk about what I went through, how I dealt with it, and what I thought. I have no degree in psychology or psychiatry; I am not a counselor or an attorney.

If you ask five people what they have just read, you will get five different answers. Whether we are an active participant or a bystander, no two views are the same.

Therefore, if you meet my ex, his view will be totally different than what I write. He, like the rest of us, changed over time. Good or bad, depends on who you ask. I pray that my life changes are not only good for me, but for those I love.