Alone with God
“Dragged to church.” Have you ever heard that phrase? My Pastor actually uses a form of it in a sermon. He says he had a drug problem as a child -- his parents drug him to church!
I was never dragged to church. In fact, I did not grow up going to church. I never knew I was missing anything until about my 9th grade year. A friend of mine lived a life that had God’s light shining through it. At the time, I had no idea what she had that I didn’t, but I knew I wanted it. I didn’t ask this friend, so I didn’t learn at that time, and even now I have not found a way to share with her that she is part of the main reason I have a relationship with God now. Years later, when our oldest was in junior high school, I got nervous. I was a young parent, and none of my friends had kids as old as our son. The world, including the imminent threat of high school, was a scary place. I knew I needed more than my husband or I could muster in our parenting abilities to get our son through high school. It was at this point that I reached out to find a church. I got more than I bargained for; I found a church, an extended family, and a lot of support for my parenting needs.Write comment (0 Comments)
Are you well-documented?
Funny question? Not so much when you are in a bind and wish you had proof, something in writing.
Someone shared with me, and I will share with you: document everything. Keep copies of everything. Keep a journal. As painful as it may be, you might one day need it. And when the stress and pressure are on, we can't remember the details.
I kept every email, every text, every hand written note, and took notes on verbal conversations. Even with some of these things, especially your own notes or your journal, it will be a case of he said, she said. If you show up with binders full of documents, you will have the upper hand. I still have a storage tote full of these items, and still keep new ones. I haven't had the need for any of them lately, but I would much rather have them and not need them than to be unprepared.Write comment (0 Comments)
Sticks and Stones
When we think of abuse and abusive relationships, we most often think of physical abuse. Most of us never think of verbal abuse. Some of us don’t even know it exists, or what it is. It is more prevalent than I care to admit, and much harder to acknowledge or admit. But often times, words leave bigger scars than physical blows. We all need to be aware that the words that leave our mouths can damage others. Something we may think is no big deal can really destroy a person. A simple statement on our part may, in fact, alter someone’s life. I know in my own marriage hearing things like “are you going to eat that” or “you need to go the gym more” or “she is prettier than you” or “I could go home with any woman here, why would I want to go home with you” did so much damage to my heart and my self-worth. But that doesn’t even compare to what others experience. My friend Karen is just one example. Here is her story.Write comment (1 Comment)
Putting the kids first
“Do what’s right for the kids.”
We believe we know what is best for our kids. I know I do! That is why ,when hell opened up and tried to swallow us, I became even more protective of my children. When their dad came back around claiming he wanted to spend time with our children, I was suspicious. My suspicions proved correct when, on a night he had the kids, I ran into him at a bar! This would happen more often than I care to admit. I even shared this with our parenting coordinator. Their father’s stance was just because it’s his time with the kids doesn't mean he has to spend every minute with them! WHAT? This was the first clue that it wasn't about wanting to be with the kids; it was about keeping them away from me. How do you deal with that? More importantly, how do you keep from stooping to that level? Although I had those thoughts, I could never do that to or with my kids. No matter what.Write comment (2 Comments)