“Do what’s right for the kids.”
We believe we know what is best for our kids. I know I do! That is why ,when hell opened up and tried to swallow us, I became even more protective of my children. When their dad came back around claiming he wanted to spend time with our children, I was suspicious. My suspicions proved correct when, on a night he had the kids, I ran into him at a bar! This would happen more often than I care to admit. I even shared this with our parenting coordinator. Their father’s stance was just because it’s his time with the kids doesn’t mean he has to spend every minute with them! WHAT? This was the first clue that it wasn’t about wanting to be with the kids; it was about keeping them away from me. How do you deal with that? More importantly, how do you keep from stooping to that level? Although I had those thoughts, I could never do that to or with my kids. No matter what.
As I hunger to protect my kids, and as I struggle with them not having mommy 24/7/365, we all learn some hard lessons. Why would a parent fight verbally, emotionally and even in court for “parenting time,” not custody, mind you, but “time” if you have no intention of spending that time WITH the kids? Why should the kids have to spend time away from one parent when that parent is available and willing to be with them? Why do our courts see nothing wrong with this? As I tearfully drop my children off at their father’s, I often receive a text shortly after that they are home alone again. My heart breaks, and I struggle to function when my kids are away from me knowing they are struggling being away. I vent to friends; I talk about it with my counselor; I sometimes stupidly reply to my soon-to-be-ex about what a terrible parent he is. He doesn’t care. How do you make someone care?
Photo Credit: Cody Wiley Photography